She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
