There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
