I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
