She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
