Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
