I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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