I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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