he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize