He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
