...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I think a kid would responsible me up
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
