Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
