what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
