OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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