what day is it and did you see me today?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
