well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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