addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
In other news, I just burned my penis
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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