I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It's official drugs can't kill me
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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