I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize