Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
