He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
It's like God shit irony all over that family
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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