dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
