I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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