I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
