belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
