Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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