If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
