Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
