Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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