i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
