you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
