There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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