Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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