somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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