Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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