Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
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