did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
