But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
