grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
