did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Randomize
