I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
