Nicole vs. Life
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
