So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
