Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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