I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
