Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
