that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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