Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
