What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
