It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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