ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
