we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
