As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize