why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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