even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize