Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
well most of my day revolves around power hour
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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