i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
