mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I could make wine with my vomit
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
