Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
