ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
