so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
